Monday, 17 October 2011

The problem with "Men" an' shopping...

Am knackered. Absolutely KNACKERED. Barely got 5 hours sleep last night. Don't ask me why but I was having a hard time getting to sleep an' staying asleep.

So anyway, a bit after I finished work me dad announces that he's off in to town to go get ciggies an' stuff. Of course me father get's "shopping" as in "absolutely nothing of nutritional value or use." Dad's "shopping" primarily consists of cake, crisps, pies, cake, an' more cake. He also normally comes back with some kind of medication to for whatever ailment his hypochondriac mind has decided he has this week. An tonight has been no different. He come back with above mentioned shite.

Now, before he went I asked him to get me some Coke or Pepsi. Just straight forward Full-Fat Coke or Pepsi. Either one am not bothered so long as it's Full Fat. (Interesting note here, in the UK, possibly the rest of Europe we don't have any cola "throwbacks" mainly because we don't really use HFCS in our full fat sodas int first place.)

Now here's my thing...Can you tell the difference between this:

And this...

And this?!

Well, according to me father there IS no difference!

Yes it might be me being harsh again but come on nobody's that stupid. He blames it on being "close-up blind" as he says or long-sighted to you an' me. Now I have been shopping with me father, he literally picks up the first thing he gets too then he's off 'cause he get's estate sick when he's away from work for more than 15 minutes on non-work related whatever. Either that or he really is dim OR he's bringing me this shit back on purpose 'cause he doesn't want asking again. I asked him for full fat Coke or Pepsi.He brought me back a 6 pack of Pepsi Max an' a 6 pack of Diet Pepsi'cause it was "on offer an he didn't know what to get so he got two different kinds."

Some people say "Awww Georgie don't be so rough on him he's trying!" I say "No." This is the man who has had women running about after him for most of his life. First his mother, now it's me an' me mam. He can't cook. Heck he can't even boil a pan of water without ballsing it up. He's been banned from attempting to cook a fry-up 'cause he coats the entire kitchen in grease, fills the kitchen with blue smoke then he doesn't move his plate in to the utility rooms where the dishwasher is. He leaves it ont table, with his chair a yard away from it waiting for either me or me mam to shift it.

This is also the man who doesn't speak to us for days if we genuinely forget to buy him a lottery ticket with our own money.

This is also the man who said that if he was meant to wash dishes, he'dve been born with a pair of tits.

SO! For the single ladies this is my advice to you. You want a fella who can at least do all if not most of these things.

1: Cook at least one or two meals. It's not always your duty to make sure he's fed all the time. As the saying goes "I'm not your mother." An' it's true you aren't!

2: Offer to go out to eat once in a while, regardless of if he's a shite cook or not.

3: Pick up basic groceries an' bits an' bobs at the supermarket in the brand you normally use/like without having his hand held.

4: Actually DO bits around the house. Not "I put them shelves up" which you remember were put up three years ago, not three days ago like HE remembers. I mean things like take out the bins, load/unload the dishwasher, whip round the living room with the hoover once a week, actually put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket. Etc...

5: Not expect you to do EVERYTHING. "A woman's work is never done" an' that can't be true enough. You yourself can't claim or expect you can do everything an' neither should he. Give an' take from both parties remember. :)

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