Friday, 15 July 2011

Balls to Harry Potter! What about Batman?!

So there were rumors going around a short while ago that the first trailer for Christopher Nolan's "The Dark Knight Rises" was to be shown before everybody started going mental at the last ever Harry Potter movie. Oh boo friggety hoo.

Yes I have absolutely NO INTEREST in the Harry Potter franchise what-so-ever. I never read the books when I was younger NOR did I feel the need to read them as I got older. Because it's a kids book series. It wasn't written for adults, but they did do the grown up versions of the books where basically the front cover was more grown up, the illustrations were gone and the text size was probably smaller. No, when I was around 11 when the first Harry Potter book came out I had just started high school. And with a high school library comes a nice range of good books. So I went on to what would be considered difficult or incredibly heavy reading for my age. I threw meself in to Science Fiction an' classics. Books by Philip K. Dick, J.D. Salinger, Anthony Burgess. I even read John Milton's Paradise Lost an' got bollocked by me English teacher 'cause it's a novel sized poem you study in Uni or College not in High School aged 14.

Either way, most Potter-Freaks probably won't have noticed TDKR's trailer an' if they did, probably dismissed it. But in my opinion it's an important movie 'cause Nolan has actually done something good with the Batman movie franchise. Especially after them atrocities I will not mention. Which brings me on to me next subject...


Bane is one of my favourite characters from the Batman universe, next to the Riddler, Harley Quinn an' Poison Ivy. Yes I would've put the Joker but what's the point everybody loves the Joker anyway.

What made me actually do this blog is to put some misinterpreted bits about Bane straight. 2 that stand out to me more than anything else.

Number 1, What people think about Bane: Bane is Mexican. Or South American.

The Mexican thing actually come from me watching the "Bottom Half of the Internet." YouTube to be precise, after TDKR trailer was put on after some people had it in 'em to record the trailer before watching Harry whats his face. I checked out a few of the profiles of the folk putting down the Mexican comments an' most of 'em turned out to be American.

Here goes...


There, I said it. I know about the whole Mexican thing. Seriously. An' just because he has that mask on which closely resembles that of a Lucha Libre wrestler which is primarily a Mexican thing; doesn't instantly make him Mexican either. Remember, it's also in other Spanish speaking countries too.

As for the South American thing, this one come from the fact that those who have seen "The movie that should not be mentioned" seem to have it ground in to them that Bane is a imprisoned serial killer from somewhere in South America. WRONG. That was part of "That movie that should not be mentioned's" storyline in order to incorporate Poison Ivy and Dr. Woodrue (aka Jason Woodrue/Floronic Man.)

Bane is actually born on a fictional Caribbean island called Santa Prisca which was colonised by the Spanish. (Think along the lines of Puerto Rico, but with a massive drug trade and violent gangs a-plenty.) Bane's father was to be arrested an' thrown in prison, but somehow managed to escape incarceration. He slept with a local rebel woman who became pregnant with Bane. A law on the island meant that Bane, had to serve his father's sentence and subsequently spent his childhood and his early adult life behind bars.

This is where it get's interesting. A lot of people are having a scream about Tom Hardy playing Bane as he is a "white guy" an' he shouldn't be playing a "Mexican." Get this, Bane's mother if you take in to consideration that Bane's mother would most likely be of Spanish descent. Bane's father meanwhile is known as Edmund Dorrence (King Snake) who was a British Mercenary working with the rebels fighting against the Santa Priscan government. So thinking about it, Bane is half Spanish, half British. But obviously being brought up on a Spanish colonial island, he speaks exactly like that.

Bane's Daddy

Number 2, What people think about Bane: Bane is a grunting caveman/wrestler/jock type guy with about half the intelligence of the above mentioned.

Bane is actually surprisingly clever. I mean REAAAAAAALLLLLL clever. During his time in prison, Bane subjected himself to various forms of body conditioning becoming super strong, well before his exposure to Venom. But he also got down to the ol' book learnin'. Reading every single book he could lay his hands on. He also found himself under tutelage of several other prison inmates who taught him anything and everything.

So even though Bane has absolutely no formal education, the amount of knowledge he accumulated over the years that stayed in his head; could to amount to several University degrees on the outside. Giving him a genius level intelligence. The man is also a walking Babelfish, got a ton of languages in that big ol' noggin' of his an' all y'know? This high level of intelligence was also the thing that let him figure out the identity of Batman an' by closely watching him over a period of time; he was able to figure out how to literally Break the Bat.

Going back to that ridiculous farce of a movie; (Thanks a lot Joel Schumacher, you shoulda just stopped at The Lost Boys you tit.) Bane would NOT have taken orders from Poison Ivy. In fact, he wouldn't have taken orders from anyone like the beefed up, stupid bulldog Schumacher made him out to be. Bane set out to become the worlds most awesome bad-ass during his time in the clink. He wouldn't take no shit from no-one! Especially some plant-lady.

Really, what Bane wants to do is punch Ivy in the face an' stand on her plants

So there you go. 2 main things that a lot of people continuously get wrong about Bane. Now I must add that this is not a complete thing I wrote here. I personally haven't read everything that Bane has been in nor have I seen everything that Bane has been in either. Think of this as more of a "Basic Stuff You Really Should Know" piece. I may have got one or two bits mixed up, it is kinda hard to figure out which story arc fits better coming from different writers an' all. That an' I have a diabolical memory right now. But I think most of it is correct from what I can actually remember.

Now let's hear it for Tom Hardy who's gained a fuckload of weight (again) to play one of Batman's most challenging enemies in the upcoming Dark Knight Rises. 

Oh, an' after a discussion wi' a friend earlier; We decided it would be pretty awesome if the Nolan Brothers had wrote Osito in to TDKR. :)

Even the big evil angry fellas have a soft side... Bless.

Thursday, 14 July 2011

A Slight Hint of Madness. And a Chin...

Yeah a bit of madness today. Well for this blog entry at least.


Me an' me mam decided to get some Curlformers after seeing them on telly an' thought we should try 'em out. Mother's hair curls well wi' standard rollers, hot rollers, curling tongs and bendy rollers. Meanwhile mine DOESN'T. Seriously mine doesn't curl well at all. I can use different setting patterns an' they all turn to shit when I tek 'em out. Me hair has a tendency to go bushy an' frizzy an' a manner of other words that mean your hair just looks meh.

So we tried out Curlformers. Now these things are FUN. Bit strange the first time you use 'em but if you really want ringlet style curls that sit right an' hold pretty well then I'd highly recommend 'em. You can get 'em in various lengths as well as curl thickness. We went for the Long & Wide ones but you can get 'em for much shorter, or longer hair too. You get 40 Curlformers in the standard kit which also comes with two hooks you need for pulling yer hair through one of the things.

So this is me with a full head of the things.
Errr... O_o

They're basically a nylon twirl thing. You slide one of the hooks through so it elongates the Curlformer, you then take a 2.5 centimetre piece of hair, slot it into the hook near your scalp then holding that end of the Curlformer, you pull the hook through gently bringing the hair through the Curlformer. Let go then it springs back into it's twisty shape! You can also use a hair dryer over these too. It's recommended you use them with damp hair but if yer pushed for time you can give yer head a quick blast wi' a hairdryer or a drying hood instead of waiting for 'em to dry naturally.

This is them out!

Sorry you can't see 'em so good. But they do turn out really well! Just use a bit of finishing cream or hair serum on 'em after you remove 'em then jobs a good 'un! Ready as they are or they'd mek a good basis for an updo.


F1. A discussion wi' a friend of mine turned out to have some funniness to it. Well, every time there's a race on we always have mad discussions. Which always leads on to talk of Mark Webber's chin. 


So much of our talk revolves around this matter, Mark Webber is no longer known by that name but as "The Chin." My friend went on to discuss David Coulthard's chin which is strikingly similar. See Figure. A.


I meself also come to the conclusion that if "The Chin's" helmet was square... An' he was in his race suit...

He would actually look like a Transformer.

Optimus Prime to me more exact.