Monday, 28 November 2011

"Oh look it's Georgie in a dress!"

Seriously, that bothers me.

It plays on me mind a lot this. A lot of people know I'm not the most girliest of girls I don't dress ultra feminine 99.9% of the time. Mainly 'cause I don't feel the need to. Another thing is, I hate the attention I get when I DO wear a dress or a skirt or summat dead girly.

Sound stupid? It may to some. Yes I like attention sometimes; who doesn't? But so long as it's for summat good an' interesting, not just 'cause you've got yer pasty legs out for some fresh air.

I don't take compliments well at all. Never have done. I just say thanks an' kinda try get off the subject. But as soon as I stick a dress on or a skirt this barrage of "OH GEORGIE'S WEARING A DRESS OH MY GOD SHE LOOKS LIKE A GIRL! SHE'S OUT OF THEM JEANS SHE ALWAYS WEARS! OH MY FUCKING GAWWWDDDDDD SHE'S WEARING HEELS NOT THEM CONVERSE!!"



I WILL, about turn; an' go put them jeans back on along wi' me Converse.

"You should wear dresses more often."

That's another one I hate. Why? Are you saying the clothes I wear normally aren't good enough? I don't feel the need to wear dresses or girly things. For one it's just not practical for me. I'm a cleaner for christ sake I can't do the 50's housewife thing. In fact that just can't be done at all. I also don't feel the need to I dunno "promote" meself in that way either. Nice clothes are for special occasions or for places you wouldn't normally get in to in yer jeans. I'll keep it at that. I'll keeps me jeans an' t-shirts for sweating in an' getting covered in chemicals an' toilet water. Clothes are clothes, they stop you from getting arrested for Indecent Exposure.

Funny thing is, I've actually been looking in to becoming an Alternative Model. No, not the Suicide Girl type model there's absolutely no way I'm getting me jubblies or me bits out for that. No no no. Just Alternative Modelling. An' yeah, I know you're all thinking "She's just had this massive rant about wearing girly things an' she wants to model, ew what a hypocrite." No, modellingis different. That's you showcasing someone's talents as a photographer or someones work whether it be hair/make-up or clothing designs. Whatever.

But I can see it now. Not "Oh Georgie these photos are nice" but "OH MY GOD GEORGIE'S IN A DRESS AN' PLATFORMS LOOK AT HER HAIR IS ALL STYLED!!" I also wanna know why people seem to think I'm on the pull when I get "tarted" up? For real? Do these people I know honestly think I can't fucking well pull a bloke when I'm dressed as NORMAL?! UGH.

This is me in a dress by the way.

Big ook. Am in a dress. 'Cause y'know, girls wear dresses sometimes. Yes maybe I should make the effort a bit more. But whilst I'm working/living where I am, no. I don't go out, I have no friends me own age round 'ere, I do not WANT a bloke from the town I live near an' I sure as hell don't want the local women setting aboutme either. No. The time I will wear a dress an' heels every day is the time I live in Twickenham an' I start loitering around rugby stadiums.

Which is 50/50 right now, I kinda need to win the lottery.

Monday, 21 November 2011

Georgie's Completely Ridiculous Christmas List

So today at work we spent most of the day getting all the Christmas gear out for the cottages. So that meant digging about for the bags an' boxes we keep everything in. We have three cottages all of which have trees put in. Then there's the big house which has a massive real tree put in it. It took us a while to sort through all the cottage decorations, which ones needed re-threading, which ones needed chucking out cause they were broken or whatever.

I ended up untangling a load of tree lights which does me head in but I'm good at it for some reason. We eventually got all the trees done so they're gonna go in to the cottages when we clean 'em. We do need some new decorations though, especially green baubles 'cause we don't have many. We used the ones we put on the big tree int big house on the cottage trees, so yeah. New decorations.

Wel also adorn ourselfs in Christmassy things every year to get int swing of things. Like this daft Santa hat. Which by the way kept falling off me head but stayed on every bugger elses. I have a mad shaped head that's far too big for normal ladies hat sizes. I have to go for Mens medium sizes usually. As for one size fits all, pftttt you can go whistle.

Anyyyhoooooo seeing as we're not far from Christmas now. I thought I'd do smmat a bit less whingy than what I posted t'other day. So here is me Completely Ridiculous Christmas List. Some may seem reasonable but they aren't really.

This Christmas I would rather like...

1: A Dyson Hoover.

Dyson DC32 Animal. WANT ONE.

We used to have a Dyson actually. One of the first model upright ones. I loved it. It actually WORKED. Now we have this vile Karcher drag-along hoover thing which is HUGE, weighs a bloody ton an' falls over at every opportunity. We have them at work too, well we first got 'em at work then me mother decided it'd be a good idea to get one for our house. I hate the bloody thing. I've been whinging about getting a Dyson for years now an' since the new drag-along ones came out I want one even more.


2: A Banjolele.

Yes, one of these.

For those of you who don't know what a Banjolele is; it's basically a Ukelele that's shaped like a mini Banjo. I have a slightly mad penchant for George Formby who of course, was one of the best Uke players in well, ever. I just have visions of me sat on me front doorstep with one of these in me hands when some unsuspecting delivery bloke turns up , an' I give him a round of Dueling Banjoes Ukelele's... Thing is I'm about as musical as a... hmm I'm just not very musically inclined at all. (Never took recorder in primary school!) Plus, these things are bloody expensive 400-600ish quid for a fairly decent one. Put a cheap one in me hands an it's guaranteed to fall apart in minutes. Christ I have a 350 quid Ibanez guitar in me attic an' a bunch of KORG equipment I never use. :/ Anyroad, here's George. :)

One of me fave Formby songs. :) Our Sergeant Major.

3: Danny Care.

The Yorkshire Terrier.

Just like that, under me tree wi' a bow on his head. No need to wrap him, I'll be right. XD

Friday, 18 November 2011

An ode to Martin Johnson

A very sad thing happened earlier this week. Martin Johnson resigned as the manager of the England Elite Rugby Squad. This is my ode to him.

Sir Martin Johnson was the head of the England Elite
a really big tall fella I'd still like to meet.
His face always stayed the same
whether he was happy, angry, or sad,
when you think back on him being manager,
he really wasn't that bad.

Please go check out :)

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Teh Georgie

Some interesting things you may know or may not know about me. Quite egotistical but I'm bored to me back teeth.

1: I was born in the same town as Mark Owen, Philip Schofield, Professor Brian Cox and the Tubular Bandage?

Oldham, Lancashire. Birthplace of us all. I even think I may be related to Professor Brian Cox in an' arse about face way as my grandfather an' his family were Cox's.

As for the Tubular Bandage well. Google Mumps Bridge Oldham.

2: I am absolutely terrified of water.

So terrified I will only shower an' when I have a bath I pretty much just sit in about 5 inches of water. I can't swim an' have no desire to learn how to I'm that scared.

3: I'm Rugby MAD.

Well that won't be a surprise to some of you but I really am. I love Rugby. A lot. I'd have it's babies if I could. I'm a England Elite fan as well as a Northampton Saints follower. Though I do admit I have a soft spot for the Quins too. :)

4: Porcelain Dolls scare me shitless.

They're creepy. I got a grey Clown porcelain doll for me birthday one year. I opened the box, looked inside then put the lid back on. I don't know where the thing is I haven't seen it since. *shudder*

5: I'm a filthy console gamer.

It's pretty much all I ever do besides work. I got all the consoles, 360, PS3, Wii. Though me priorities lie with the PS3 'cause the 360 controller after a lengthy amount of time using it gives me what I like to call "Wankers Cramp" or "Crab Hands" depending on the severity of me mangled hands. I could go count how many games I got but I got so many, that an' I can't be arsed right now. I am an AVID Metal Gear Solid fan.

6: I used to write reviews for the UK's only anime channel; Anime Central.

If you ever frequented the website an' read the reviews, chances are it was one of mine. I was also a moderator on the forum too. :) I got free dvd's. XD

7: I'm a "partially" trained actress.

I say "partially" 'cause I never finished me first year at college due to personal problems. The head lecturer told me when I left that he wanted to put me through to the HND course which would mean I would've got me first year of a 4 year uni degree out the way if I did it. Shame I didn't/couldn't, I really enjoyed it an' I still would love to act but at the time everything just mounted up on me an' I pretty much had a breakdown.

8:  I don't think Dolphins are all that.

It's on everyone's bucket list, to swim with Dolphins.

Well, I can't swim, I also don't really like dolphins that much either. So I wouldn't swim with a dolphin. I'd punch a dolphin.

9: I haven't eaten breakfast since I was 14.

I can't do it. I'm turning out like me mother she hasn't eaten breakfast since she was that age either an' she's now in her 60's. I can't stomach food before 3pm at least so I pretty much run on cigs an' coffee till then. Yeah you can tell me it's bad but I don't really care. It works for me.

10: I'm a fully licenced shotgun an' firearm owner.

An' I look like Myra Hindley in me licence pictures. Nice. O_o

Yes I do shoot when I get the chance. Clays mainly 'cause I won't shoot game I think it's pointless. I have the firearms (rifle) licence so I can legally operate the damn things for shooting vermin an' for dispatching any of our animals that are seriously injured and/or radge. We have Highland Cows that could go the way of the mental an' they can do some damage. If me father's not around to dispatch the 100's an' 100's of lbs worth of angry raw meat, then it's me that has to do it.

11: I can only drink UHT milk.

Raw milk, or standard pasteurized milk makes me heave. I've never been able to drink it at all. I actually grew up on raw goats milk as a child as we kept our own goats an' goats milk is a lot different to cows milk. I don't think I could drink it now as it's quite thick and heavy almost like cream in some instances. I can't drink sterilized milk either it's just far too sweet. I don't see why people have this yuck reaction to UHT milk. It's not much different to standard plastic carton milk, just had a slightly different taste an' when I say slightly I bloody mean it.

12: I only eat fish & chips when I go to Whitby.

I adore Whitby, it's one of me most fave places in England if not the world an' the fish & chips there are TO DIE FOR. We don't go to Whitby often but when we do, we gorge on fish & chips. I've lived in Scotland for the past 17 years near enough an' every chippy I've been in to has been shit in my opinion. You can't even get mushy peas or a carton of gravy for yer chips either up here.

13: Speaking of Whitby; I collect Whitby Jet.

Everytime I go I always come back with a new piece of silver Whitby Jet jewellery. I must be wearing at least 350-400 quids worth on a daily basis. I have 3 Jet rings an' a rather large Jet crucifix.

14: Yes crucifixes. I collect them too.

I'm also Church of England. :)

15: I have the Rogue Doolan/Cox hair gene.

The hair on me head is naturally blonde. Everything else is BLACK. I've been dying me hair black for over a decade now just so I don't look like a mental non-gaptoothed version of 80's Madonna who quite frankly scares me. Me grandmother had the same gene thing. She actually had white AND black eyelashes. Go figure.

16: I am a country girl.

I grew up on farms. Sheep, cows, chickens, pigs, goats. You name it. I'm not afraid of getting shit-order if it happens. I also love the smell of ripe silage. :)

17: I broke me nose a few years back.

I say I broke me nose a tiny Italian woman kindly did it for me on a big wooden door in the Opium rock bar in Edinburgh, on the night of the Italy Vs. Scotland match in that years 6 Nations. I was quite drunk at the time it happened so I didn't really notice till I started sobering up an' felt the blood crusting up on me face. Being that clever I washed the blood off as best I could then proceded to drink more. I ended up in A&E the day after then I got referred to an ENT specialist later that week. O_o It's still slightly squint.

18: I had one an' a half eyebrows for nearly 3 years.

I asked me mother to pluck me eyebrows for me when I was 13. She tried giving me eyebrows like hers which are about an' inch long an' as thin as anything. She got halfway through the first one then I wouldn't let her finish the other. It didn't grow back till I was near me 16th birthday.

19: I'm a bit funny with me name.

I don't like people who I've just met assuming they can me Gee, Georgie, George or the ones I hate with a passion; GG and Gina. Me name is Georgina.

20: It really doesn't have to be April Fools Day for me to pull out the big practical joke guns.

These stories are for a later date. ^__^

Sunday, 6 November 2011

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Glad this week is over. Between what happened on Wednesday, me car battery going dead, an' the fact that I've been an' absolute liability this week what with being accident prone an' all I'm bloody elated this week is over. So now I'm taking a positive mental attitude an' I'm just gonna get on wi' it. So, I've decided that I'm gonna look in to going back to college. To do what exactly I dunno. See what teks me fancy. I might actually go in for Beauty Therapy or even Hairdressing, I do like pissing about with make-up an' hair. I'd rather do something practical where I can still move about instead of being sat at a desk glaring at a computer like a total dick. I've never been able to handle desk jobs at all.

Anyway, like I mentioned before. The Chupathingy decided to die on me again today. Battery was as flat as a pancake. So I jump started it before with me dad of another spare car battery an' the ol' jump leads. Took it out for a quick spin too just to get a bit more power in it off the alternator. It should be fine now. I went an' bought some Autoglym car shampoo too as well as a cover for the bloody thing, just so I can try keep the leaves, shit an' slime of it. Ewww. O_o

Oh an' the snow an' frost I guess.

Yes. VVTL-I. Suck on that. XD I got 50 more bhp than the regular VVT-I. *handbag*

Leon's also become quite possibly the most quirkiest cat I've ever had. Here he is, sat watching the washing machine.

Round an' round an' round....

Bit of a thing that cheered me up a bit. Mother very kindly bought me this vile wintery sweater thing. I love it. XD

An' I also get me hair cut on Wednesday too! Happy days! I haven't had it cut in a year. XD

Me sister's also coming up on Satday which'll be nice. She said she's bringing Our Joe too, the nephew I haven't met yet. :) Be nice it will. Gonna make tea, then drink. 'Cause if there's one thing about the women in my family, it's that we like a drink. Or um, till we lose count.

I was gonna say summat else, but I forget. Musn't have been important then. Ah well. Arkham City AND Uncharted 3 reviews when I'm more of a better mood.

Friday, 4 November 2011

The shittest week on record

The boyfriend dumped me on Wednesday after a year. Not happy about that. Well am pretty devastated but cest la vie eh? He has all thse problems an' just isn't satisfied with only being able to email me to talk which is absolute bullshit. He hardly ever Skyped with me, I always had to ask an' even then it was hit or miss because being me being 8 hours ahead an' him having the compulsion to go to the gym every fucking night around the time I start passing out it hardly ever happened. He said he wanted to talk to me about all these problems on the phone or text me or summat. How would it be any different if he wanted to do that if I was 20 minutes down the road or half the world away? Contradiction there that is. An' I was ALWAYS available. Shit excuse. Apparently though I needed to be there. There were lots of options. Him coming here or me going there. But he didn't want to do either, one being he would have to marry me to get me there. But I thought people who loved each other so much would do anything, right? No, wrong.

I also think it was very unfair that he sent me the email saying "We need to talk" at what would be a normal time for him, but turned out to be half five in the morning for me. So of course, I checked me email when I woke an' there it is. I was worrying for the rest of the day until I managed to coax it out of him. I was actually sick with worry. That an' I kept bursting in to tears at work. Eventually, I got him on Skype an' proceeded to do the typical woman thing consisting of shouting, screaming, bawling an' so on. 2 hours later after that, him not really looking like he was bothered an' a ton of drawn out silences an' me just GLARING. That was it.

An' on that night (for him, morning next day for me) he mailed me saying that he'd booked a flight to Vegas where his race team were an' had asked him to go with them like the week before. So, while he's swanning about Vegas having a good time, getting drunk an' shit; I'm here doing my normal thing of working, gaming, working an' being miserable. Fucking charming eh?

His excuses were shit to me. I know people who go through a lot worse with LDR's, etc. He also never spoke about "us." It was always me bringing up "us" an' he always shunned the talk, saying we'd cross that bridge when we get to it. He also said he'd been thinking about this for a while now, but that was the first I'd heard of it. Am' not that much of a bitch nor am I that unreasonable that I can't be spoken to about these things an' have a discussion. No, he just didn't have the balls to actually initiate a discussion about it.

Which makes me come to this conclusion.

I have more balls than he does.

In fact all the shit I've gone through since high school have given me bigger balls than most so-called tough blokes.

If he wants to continue talking to me, that's fine by me. No skin off my nose. Brash, loud, abrasive an' forward I may be. But total cunt, I am not. The ball's in his bastard court.

Fuck it. I want me a rugby player.


I completed both Arkham City an' Uncharted 3.

Uncharted 3 could've been better I guess. I dunno it was lacking summat that the first two games had. Probably a bit more humor an' a lot less repeated drama. Story was a bit naff an' all I stopped following what was going on about a third of the way through 'cause I got so confused. Still a good fun game though but bloody confusing, an' the aiming system isn't as responsive as usual either which is annoying. I might play it through again though when I got me good head back on.