Friday, 4 November 2011

The shittest week on record

The boyfriend dumped me on Wednesday after a year. Not happy about that. Well am pretty devastated but cest la vie eh? He has all thse problems an' just isn't satisfied with only being able to email me to talk which is absolute bullshit. He hardly ever Skyped with me, I always had to ask an' even then it was hit or miss because being me being 8 hours ahead an' him having the compulsion to go to the gym every fucking night around the time I start passing out it hardly ever happened. He said he wanted to talk to me about all these problems on the phone or text me or summat. How would it be any different if he wanted to do that if I was 20 minutes down the road or half the world away? Contradiction there that is. An' I was ALWAYS available. Shit excuse. Apparently though I needed to be there. There were lots of options. Him coming here or me going there. But he didn't want to do either, one being he would have to marry me to get me there. But I thought people who loved each other so much would do anything, right? No, wrong.

I also think it was very unfair that he sent me the email saying "We need to talk" at what would be a normal time for him, but turned out to be half five in the morning for me. So of course, I checked me email when I woke an' there it is. I was worrying for the rest of the day until I managed to coax it out of him. I was actually sick with worry. That an' I kept bursting in to tears at work. Eventually, I got him on Skype an' proceeded to do the typical woman thing consisting of shouting, screaming, bawling an' so on. 2 hours later after that, him not really looking like he was bothered an' a ton of drawn out silences an' me just GLARING. That was it.

An' on that night (for him, morning next day for me) he mailed me saying that he'd booked a flight to Vegas where his race team were an' had asked him to go with them like the week before. So, while he's swanning about Vegas having a good time, getting drunk an' shit; I'm here doing my normal thing of working, gaming, working an' being miserable. Fucking charming eh?

His excuses were shit to me. I know people who go through a lot worse with LDR's, etc. He also never spoke about "us." It was always me bringing up "us" an' he always shunned the talk, saying we'd cross that bridge when we get to it. He also said he'd been thinking about this for a while now, but that was the first I'd heard of it. Am' not that much of a bitch nor am I that unreasonable that I can't be spoken to about these things an' have a discussion. No, he just didn't have the balls to actually initiate a discussion about it.

Which makes me come to this conclusion.

I have more balls than he does.

In fact all the shit I've gone through since high school have given me bigger balls than most so-called tough blokes.

If he wants to continue talking to me, that's fine by me. No skin off my nose. Brash, loud, abrasive an' forward I may be. But total cunt, I am not. The ball's in his bastard court.

Fuck it. I want me a rugby player.


I completed both Arkham City an' Uncharted 3.

Uncharted 3 could've been better I guess. I dunno it was lacking summat that the first two games had. Probably a bit more humor an' a lot less repeated drama. Story was a bit naff an' all I stopped following what was going on about a third of the way through 'cause I got so confused. Still a good fun game though but bloody confusing, an' the aiming system isn't as responsive as usual either which is annoying. I might play it through again though when I got me good head back on.


  1. I love that you just put it all out there. Good for you.

  2. I had to. I had to just write it all down. A way of venting I guess.