Indeedy. This week I shall be reviewing Arkham City AND keeping my followers AND whoever else reads this updated on the status of me Halloween costume.
'Cause I've been obsessed about the Batmanverse since I was a little girl. This year it's the Riddler.
I am mixing it up a bit though 'cause it is kinda hard to try finding stuff this close to Halloween. Like purple shoes that fit me for god sake. Or an actual NICE non shiny tie or even anything you can buy thats in FUCKING STOCK!! >_< Meh, more to come, like I said.
Am knackered. Absolutely KNACKERED. Barely got 5 hours sleep last night. Don't ask me why but I was having a hard time getting to sleep an' staying asleep.
So anyway, a bit after I finished work me dad announces that he's off in to town to go get ciggies an' stuff. Of course me father get's "shopping" as in "absolutely nothing of nutritional value or use." Dad's "shopping" primarily consists of cake, crisps, pies, cake, an' more cake. He also normally comes back with some kind of medication to for whatever ailment his hypochondriac mind has decided he has this week. An tonight has been no different. He come back with above mentioned shite.
Now, before he went I asked him to get me some Coke or Pepsi. Just straight forward Full-Fat Coke or Pepsi. Either one am not bothered so long as it's Full Fat. (Interesting note here, in the UK, possibly the rest of Europe we don't have any cola "throwbacks" mainly because we don't really use HFCS in our full fat sodas int first place.)
Now here's my thing...Can you tell the difference between this:
And this...
And this?!
Well, according to me father there IS no difference!
Yes it might be me being harsh again but come on nobody's that stupid. He blames it on being "close-up blind" as he says or long-sighted to you an' me. Now I have been shopping with me father, he literally picks up the first thing he gets too then he's off 'cause he get's estate sick when he's away from work for more than 15 minutes on non-work related whatever. Either that or he really is dim OR he's bringing me this shit back on purpose 'cause he doesn't want asking again. I asked him for full fat Coke or Pepsi.He brought me back a 6 pack of Pepsi Max an' a 6 pack of Diet Pepsi'cause it was "on offer an he didn't know what to get so he got two different kinds."
Some people say "Awww Georgie don't be so rough on him he's trying!" I say "No." This is the man who has had women running about after him for most of his life. First his mother, now it's me an' me mam. He can't cook. Heck he can't even boil a pan of water without ballsing it up. He's been banned from attempting to cook a fry-up 'cause he coats the entire kitchen in grease, fills the kitchen with blue smoke then he doesn't move his plate in to the utility rooms where the dishwasher is. He leaves it ont table, with his chair a yard away from it waiting for either me or me mam to shift it.
This is also the man who doesn't speak to us for days if we genuinely forget to buy him a lottery ticket with our own money.
This is also the man who said that if he was meant to wash dishes, he'dve been born with a pair of tits.
SO! For the single ladies this is my advice to you. You want a fella who can at least do all if not most of these things.
1: Cook at least one or two meals. It's not always your duty to make sure he's fed all the time. As the saying goes "I'm not your mother." An' it's true you aren't!
2: Offer to go out to eat once in a while, regardless of if he's a shite cook or not.
3: Pick up basic groceries an' bits an' bobs at the supermarket in the brand you normally use/like without having his hand held.
4: Actually DO bits around the house. Not "I put them shelves up" which you remember were put up three years ago, not three days ago like HE remembers. I mean things like take out the bins, load/unload the dishwasher, whip round the living room with the hoover once a week, actually put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket. Etc...
5: Not expect you to do EVERYTHING. "A woman's work is never done" an' that can't be true enough. You yourself can't claim or expect you can do everything an' neither should he. Give an' take from both parties remember. :)
So, t'other day I was watching this crackin' video here regarding Chav Cars by Jordan James. I do highly suggest you watch it 'cause I literally did piss mesel laughing at it. Why? 'Cause everything he says is TRUE!
Which brings me on to my topic of the day.
WHY?!
Seriously, I DETEST Chav cars. Main reasons being that there's always a total arsehole driving said chav car plus, they're always the most hideous, ugliest looking cars you will ever see. I know a lot of people who butcher their cars with added engine gubbins an' vulgar eye-offensive body kits an' these very people when they found that me own personal car sitting pretty in me driveway is an '04 Toyota Celica VVTL-i T-Sport asked me; "You gonna change it?" (Yes I know my car is actually listed as a chav car, but do I look like a chav? No. Far from it. I eat chavs for dinner. I would've said breakfast but I haven't had anything that even remotely resembles breakfast in well over a decade. XD )
NO I AM NOT FUCKING WELL CHANGING IT! It's fine as it is! No am NOT putting on some ridiculous supercharger on it NOR am I putting on a bigger spoiler or some 'orrible body kit 'cause there is NOWT wrong with it the way it is. It's a nice looking car on it's own I don't want or need to ruin it with some overpriced trinkets. The only thing I've changed in it is the stock stereo, to a JVC KW-XR811 double-din unit. I didn't change the speakers or add some stupid big-arsed subwoofer. Hell no. I'm not that obnoxious. The only other things I've put in are some Companion Cube fuzzy dive, rosemary beads an' a Buddy Christ. For a laugh. THAT'S IT. Nothing more. It's staying stock.
I don't feel the need to change anything about me car. I don't even have the want to either as I said before, there's nowt wrong wi' it. Not only that but but keeping this car costs enough an' I sure as hell don't wanna break me bank account adding unnecessary bells on it. No thank you.
But back to chav cars though. Jordan's list is quite comprehensive in terms of the cars they have an' what they strive for. Usually they do start out with summat like a Citroen Saxo or a Vauxhall Corsa. Tiny cars may I add. They're more suited for someone who doesn't have the money to keep a larger car or for someone who really doesn't need a larger car. In fact, a lot of women drive these smaller cars 'cause they are so small an' are easier to drive. Or you do get the odd sensible young guy who has one as a runaround. Fair enough.
The Citroen Saxo. Small, small engine, cheap to run, PRACTICAL.
But no, when you're a chav; you just can't settle for keeping one of these small cars as they are. Oh no. They get their hands on summat like that an' as sure as eggs is eggs or that every odd numbered Star Trek movie is shit; they have to start butchering. Their aim for said car is to make it sound like an' absolute monster an' to make it look well... To make it look NOTHING like the car that is actually underneath. Take a look for yourself.
I think there's a Corsa under there somewhere...
Another thing about this though is that none of these modifications are cheap. Basic body kits for the likes of Vauxhall Corsas cost a few hundred quid new. Then obviously the more intricate stuff costs a lot more. Then there's the big-shit stupid exhausts, they're far from cheap. Boxes an' fancy chrome tips setting you back a further few hundred quid. THEN there's the ridiculous paint jobs, the stupid sound systems, the 'orrible alloys, having the car lowered, having turbos put on which are fucking expensive too. So to turn a car which probably cost em 800 quid to buy in to summat they reckon looks "Well Class" costs thousands an' thounsands of pounds. I dunno why they do it. Plus you have to feed the thing, pay road tax, have it MOT'd an' insured too. But a lot of 'em save money so they say on insurance as they do summat incredibly illegal; an' don't declare any modifications to their car. Naughty naughty.
But of course because there are loads of these liccle shits about that do this, they're in the know. They know people who are mechanics or work in paint shops blah blah so they get a lot of this shit done either for free or on mates-rates. They also say that car modding is a hobby. Which in my opinion it isn't. Because really if they are TRUE chavs then they stereotypically have no job an' are on the dole. Which is a pittance. So, where are they getting the money from to go get a bunch of this stuff int first place eh? They're screaming poverty yet they're driving some car about that's got thousands of quids worth of mods on it.
It just doesn't add up. I went an' got a good car int first place. Not some cheap arse liccle thing then spent christ know how much on it trying to make it look an' drive like summat it's not. Why can't they do that? Can't they just save this money an' wait a liccle bit longer so they can go buy the chav car of all chav cars, the Subaru Impreza?
Like Jordan, I think this car is SHIT. Hate 'em with a passion. Wouldn't be caught dead in one.
An' I'll tell you now, I will NEVER buy a car off a chav boy-racer. Why? These things in my eyes are not safe an equate to a cut and shut car. No your car is not "mint" or "gangsta" it's a fucking deathtrap. An' I sure as hell would not be sat in aside a boy-racer. Compared with other young drivers with a car with specs equivalent to mine, I drive pretty damn conservatively. I love me car to death an' I don't wanna see it in bits nor do I meself want to be in bits.
Kenny, my sort of adoptive big brother I never had has an S reg TDI Golf. He's had it re-mapped, lowered an' has stuck these god awful carbon black looking 19" rims on it. When he gets in it now, it drags ont ground. It's hideous. He takes great pleasure in telling me that his diesel Golf get's more bph than mine, mainly due to it being re-mapped. I really don't care. But for some reason he REALLY wants to drive my car an' of course I won't let him. Nobody but me drives my car, me father barely drives it either but I won't let him drive it 'cause he'd put farm-stink in it. Kenny can't even fit in mine anyway. He tried that one afternoon an' locked himself in it trying to wind me up. Then he realised he couldn't actually get himself out the driving set. I dragged him out by the ears an' he had to fall out 4 inches off the ground where my car actually sits. So there you go. He can't put the seat back far enough either haha!!
Anyroad I think that's about it for now. Yes this has been a rant an' no I don't care if you don't agree wi' me on any of it. A lot of people will never have to deal with this on a daily basis. Hopefully I'll be back with a more positive and/or funny blog soon. :)
