Georgie's (sort of) 2011 Gaming Review

2011 wasn't a big gaming year for me. Well, it was kinda but with some highly anticipated heavy hitting games. I didn't buy many this year, I guess it started early on int year with me slight obsession with pre-ordering. The actual receiving of games began in April. So here's a quick review.

Portal 2

I loved the first Portal game, I really did. But I think you'd be hard pushed to find a gamer who didn't like it. The first Portal was nowt short of brilliant, but that was it's problem. It was too short. Granted it didn't outstay it's welcome but I think everyone wished there was just a little more game time. Portal 2 however was substantially longer in comparison but was easily demolished as it was so addictive in my eyes.

It carries on in the dark humour vein, has even more inventive game play an' is FUN. Yes it may be slightly frustrating at times but it is essentially a puzzle game with a slight action tinge. It's supposed to be frustrating at times, if it wasn't then where would the fun be?

I never had any major gripes with it, to be honest I can't really think of any.

On to September.

Dead Island

I was pretty excited about Dead Island after seeing all the garb that went with it, like that trailer that was all in reverse an' pretty much everyone was freaking out about it. I was in America at the time it was released in the UK an' I wouldn't be back for just over a week. So it was sat in it's little Amazon cardboard posting house in me room till I got back home.

Now let me get this out there now. I still haven't completed this game. Why? I forgot about it. To me it really is a forgettable game. Yes it had a lot of hype about it an' I was looking forward to playing it but summat did not just bode well with me. For some reason it just seemed a bit grind-tacular. Don't get me wrong I don't mind a bit of grinding but I don't think it particularly fitted all that well with Dead Island. It had fiddly bits such as repairing weapons an' creating weapons an' blah blah. Yeah I know it's for a bit of realism but it's kinda hard to get on with a game when you have to detour to do this, then realise you can't 'cause all you have in your inventory is SHITE.

Dead Island also has it's bugs. Realism doesn't exactly go that well with a game that looks plasticky an' is particularly obvious with it's rough edges. I was slightly disappointed with this game. And I love zombies, so really I should've been all over this like a rash. Meh.

On to October.

Batman: Arkham City

I am a HUUUUUGE BATMAN GEEK. HUGE! I adore anything Batman. I'm sure you may have realised that in some of me previous blogs. I loved Arkham Asylum, which really was a fun game. But Arkham City really did take it to another level. Everything in this game to me was bigger, badder (in a good way) an' better. The addition of having Catwoman as a playable character was pretty neat, even though it was a pretty short amount of time you did get to play her. Thought I do think it would've been nice to have other playable characters that had more to do with the main storyline. Robin made an appearance, it would've been cool to play as him in the main game. though you did get to play as Nightwing if you got the DLC for the Riddler's Challenges. But still, meh. That was about my only gripe.

Oh, an' there was the slight disappointment that Arleen Sorkin didn't reprise her role as Harley this time round, but instead Tara Strong filled her boots. Which just doesn't seem right to me, Tara Strong does little boy's voices; not the voice of a demented, criminally minded gymnast. Harley's Arkham City outfit is also my choice of Halloween Costume this year. :)

Now, November.

Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception

Love love LOVE the Uncharted games. I am actually in love with Nathan Drake. In fact, I had an affair with him on November 2nd when I received this game in the mail that morning then later that afternoon, my then boyfriend dumped me. So after the few hours I spent bawling an' screaming obscenities at the tit, I remembered he was preventing me from cracking on with playing U3. So in the end I didn't feel upset, but really fucking angry because the ex was keeping me from PLAYING MY FUCKING NEW GAME. So when the bawling an' the screaming subsided then turned to pure anger, I cracked on with U3 an' began to fill meself with post break-up Jaffa Cakes... a 36 box full of the bastards.

So of course it being Uncharted it was as always visually stunning, full of witty dialogue an' so on. It was missing summat though. But that could've just been me.

To be honest I had a hard time trying to get me head round the story. I know a lot of story now whether it be in games or movies or telly shows isn't exactly handed to you on a plate an' this is why I reckon it could've been me being slightly dim. Uncharted for me is pure entertainment in the sense that every single storyline has me absolutely ENGROSSED in it like it is me fave telly show I freak out about when I miss a few minutes. I think this was my problem. Yeah everything came together at the end but Uncharted is my soap opera where you have to play the game to advance to the next cutscene of deliciousness. I couldn't put it down.

Saints Row The Third

I can't stop playing this game. I really can't. I think I'm near the end of me third play through right now, then after that I'll probably start playing it again. This game has been quite possibly the most fun game I've played in a long time an' thoroughly enjoyed every single minute of it. It's over the top, totally ridiculous an' funny as hell. It's like GTA through an' through but just better to me. GTA has it's moments but Saints Row The Third just takes it even further, by sticking bright shiny purple oversized cocks on baseball bats on it.

I can't complain that much about it really. Some missions are annoying due to the difficulty curve being unpredictable an' more like a mountain at times than a curve. Oh an' it does crash sometimes, but thank Christ not like the Fallout games do. Eesh. O_o 

Oh, an' who doesn't love a game that has Hulk Hogan in as a voice actor AND the one an' only Burt Reynolds playing AS HIMSELF as the Mayor of Steelport.

Fucking Awesome. :)

Anyway, here's to 2012 an' all the damn pre-orders I made last year. Least a few of 'em actually have release dates now. XD

Teh Georgie

Some interesting things you may know or may not know about me. Quite egotistical but I'm bored to me back teeth.


1: I was born in the same town as Mark Owen, Philip Schofield, Professor Brian Cox and the Tubular Bandage?

Oldham, Lancashire. Birthplace of us all. I even think I may be related to Professor Brian Cox in an' arse about face way as my grandfather an' his family were Cox's.

As for the Tubular Bandage well. Google Mumps Bridge Oldham.

2: I am absolutely terrified of water.

So terrified I will only shower an' when I have a bath I pretty much just sit in about 5 inches of water. I can't swim an' have no desire to learn how to I'm that scared.

3: I'm Rugby MAD.

Well that won't be a surprise to some of you but I really am. I love Rugby. A lot. I'd have it's babies if I could. I'm a England Elite fan as well as a Northampton Saints follower. Though I do admit I have a soft spot for the Quins too. :)

4: Porcelain Dolls scare me shitless.

They're creepy. I got a grey Clown porcelain doll for me birthday one year. I opened the box, looked inside then put the lid back on. I don't know where the thing is I haven't seen it since. *shudder*

5: I'm a filthy console gamer.

It's pretty much all I ever do besides work. I got all the consoles, 360, PS3, Wii. Though me priorities lie with the PS3 'cause the 360 controller after a lengthy amount of time using it gives me what I like to call "Wankers Cramp" or "Crab Hands" depending on the severity of me mangled hands. I could go count how many games I got but I got so many, that an' I can't be arsed right now. I am an AVID Metal Gear Solid fan.

6: I used to write reviews for the UK's only anime channel; Anime Central.

If you ever frequented the website an' read the reviews, chances are it was one of mine. I was also a moderator on the forum too. :) I got free dvd's. XD

7: I'm a "partially" trained actress.

I say "partially" 'cause I never finished me first year at college due to personal problems. The head lecturer told me when I left that he wanted to put me through to the HND course which would mean I would've got me first year of a 4 year uni degree out the way if I did it. Shame I didn't/couldn't, I really enjoyed it an' I still would love to act but at the time everything just mounted up on me an' I pretty much had a breakdown.

8:  I don't think Dolphins are all that.

It's on everyone's bucket list, to swim with Dolphins.

Well, I can't swim, I also don't really like dolphins that much either. So I wouldn't swim with a dolphin. I'd punch a dolphin.

9: I haven't eaten breakfast since I was 14.

I can't do it. I'm turning out like me mother she hasn't eaten breakfast since she was that age either an' she's now in her 60's. I can't stomach food before 3pm at least so I pretty much run on cigs an' coffee till then. Yeah you can tell me it's bad but I don't really care. It works for me.

10: I'm a fully licenced shotgun an' firearm owner.

An' I look like Myra Hindley in me licence pictures. Nice. O_o

Yes I do shoot when I get the chance. Clays mainly 'cause I won't shoot game I think it's pointless. I have the firearms (rifle) licence so I can legally operate the damn things for shooting vermin an' for dispatching any of our animals that are seriously injured and/or radge. We have Highland Cows that could go the way of the mental an' they can do some damage. If me father's not around to dispatch the 100's an' 100's of lbs worth of angry raw meat, then it's me that has to do it.

11: I can only drink UHT milk.

Raw milk, or standard pasteurized milk makes me heave. I've never been able to drink it at all. I actually grew up on raw goats milk as a child as we kept our own goats an' goats milk is a lot different to cows milk. I don't think I could drink it now as it's quite thick and heavy almost like cream in some instances. I can't drink sterilized milk either it's just far too sweet. I don't see why people have this yuck reaction to UHT milk. It's not much different to standard plastic carton milk, just had a slightly different taste an' when I say slightly I bloody mean it.

12: I only eat fish & chips when I go to Whitby.

I adore Whitby, it's one of me most fave places in England if not the world an' the fish & chips there are TO DIE FOR. We don't go to Whitby often but when we do, we gorge on fish & chips. I've lived in Scotland for the past 17 years near enough an' every chippy I've been in to has been shit in my opinion. You can't even get mushy peas or a carton of gravy for yer chips either up here.

13: Speaking of Whitby; I collect Whitby Jet.

Everytime I go I always come back with a new piece of silver Whitby Jet jewellery. I must be wearing at least 350-400 quids worth on a daily basis. I have 3 Jet rings an' a rather large Jet crucifix.

14: Yes crucifixes. I collect them too.

I'm also Church of England. :)

15: I have the Rogue Doolan/Cox hair gene.

The hair on me head is naturally blonde. Everything else is BLACK. I've been dying me hair black for over a decade now just so I don't look like a mental non-gaptoothed version of 80's Madonna who quite frankly scares me. Me grandmother had the same gene thing. She actually had white AND black eyelashes. Go figure.

16: I am a country girl.

I grew up on farms. Sheep, cows, chickens, pigs, goats. You name it. I'm not afraid of getting shit-order if it happens. I also love the smell of ripe silage. :)

17: I broke me nose a few years back.

I say I broke me nose a tiny Italian woman kindly did it for me on a big wooden door in the Opium rock bar in Edinburgh, on the night of the Italy Vs. Scotland match in that years 6 Nations. I was quite drunk at the time it happened so I didn't really notice till I started sobering up an' felt the blood crusting up on me face. Being that clever I washed the blood off as best I could then proceded to drink more. I ended up in A&E the day after then I got referred to an ENT specialist later that week. O_o It's still slightly squint.

18: I had one an' a half eyebrows for nearly 3 years.

I asked me mother to pluck me eyebrows for me when I was 13. She tried giving me eyebrows like hers which are about an' inch long an' as thin as anything. She got halfway through the first one then I wouldn't let her finish the other. It didn't grow back till I was near me 16th birthday.

19: I'm a bit funny with me name.

I don't like people who I've just met assuming they can me Gee, Georgie, George or the ones I hate with a passion; GG and Gina. Me name is Georgina.

20: It really doesn't have to be April Fools Day for me to pull out the big practical joke guns.

These stories are for a later date. ^__^